Week 11: Essay - An English Major's Dream

I want to begin my essay with a clarification: this is not meant to be a dig at English majors in any way. I found this comic funny because its overt irony. It is ironic in that it is the exact opposite of the stereotypical plight of the English major. The rock star persona this English major seems to have embodied - fighting off the ladies, taking calls from the president, rolling in cash - is humorous because all things that one would never think to attribute to an English major. These particular panels are meant, I believe, to draw special attention to a few very real problems that English majors are doomed to encounter.

First, it is my experience, just from holding counsel with a great number of women on a daily basis, that the ladies do not typically "go for" the English majors - at least the type of ladies that are portrayed in this comic. These "groupies" are representative of women who come to college intent on receiving an M.R.S. degree, that is, they are focused on landing a husband with no real interest in actually getting an education. Getting an M.R.S. degree is something that many women, myself included, often joke about. My friends have often make jokes about lurking around the pre-med club or pre-law club meetings in order to find a man, but you don't often hear women talk about lurking around the English department. If a woman is in college to find a husband (I know they exist, though I've never encountered one) she is likely looking for a rich husband and is more apt to seek out the pre-med or pre-law type, those that typically do end up making a fair salary (once they pay off student loans!) This is not to say, obviously, that there are not women vying for English majors, just not maybe as blindly and indiscriminately as I have witnessed some women go after doctors.

"But what will you do with a degree in English?" I imagine English majors hear this all the time and are probably sick of it. There are, incidentally, a great deal of things one can do with a degree in English or any humanities subject, really. However, with humanities majors in general, I think it is a good idea to go into that degree field with some sort of plan for after college -  to teach, to write, or what have you - or else you may end up working in an area that has nothing to do with your degree, which I imagine would be rather heart-breaking. There are some places of business that only require applicants to have a degree and it doesn't matter in what. It is highly unlikely that an English major is going to feel validated at one of these jobs because it will be highly unlikely that they will get to apply anything that they have learned in their four years of college. And then there are the jobs that do require a specific degree. There are, of course,  jobs that require English degrees, but they are more difficult to come by than, say, jobs looking for business majors, and are, therefore, highly competitive. So it is not impossible by any means to find a job as an English major, but it is difficult, particularly if you desire to work in your field.

While we would all love to believe that one day our knowledge set is going to come in handy at just the right moment - some important official will need a poem analyzed, one of the great American writers will wish to discuss literature with a  worthy, well-read contemporary, or for me, I will be on a game show in which I have to identify the proteins used in DNA replication - the fact is, the extensive knowledge we have gained in many different areas will go largely unappreciated. If you are an English major with an office job, it is not likely that your knowledge of Shakespearean poetry will be used in your everyday life. Not to shatter anyone's dreams, but the president is not going to call asking you to analyze a play. Nothing you learn is useless, for sure, but some of the knowledge we gain just isn't going to be used practically on a daily daily and this is especially true, for humanities majors who work outside of their field.

This cartoon is funny but it is also quite frightening, frankly, English major or not. As a Biology major, I often worry about what I will do if the whole medicine thing doesn't pan out. In a way, this comic illuminates what is the very real fear of students everywhere - the idea of all of our efforts being for naught and the very opposite of this comic becoming our reality. Basically, I'm laughing to hide my fear.

 

 

Image information:

Perks of Being an English Major (image source: Blogspot Cartoon); Leonardo DiCaprio putting on a brave face at the Oscars (image source:Pinterest)

Week 11: Storytelling - The Never-ending Tea Party

Alice shuddered nervously as she stood before the high garden walls only able to imagine what could lie inside. She couldn't help but feel deterred from the whole mission at the idea of facing down one mad person, let alone two! Well, technically, it was one person and one animal, a hare to be exact. At least, that's what the grinning cat had said. Alice shook her head trying to clear it and focus on what she needed to do. This was certainly one of the most risky assignments she'd had working for the Correctors, but it was extremely important that she did the job that she had been sent to do.

The Correctors were a division the top secret Maintenance of the Magical and Supernatural program within the FBI. MMS dealt with everything from control of mythical creatures (so many people had spotted that nuisance, bigfoot, over the years and it really was a hassle to make all of those people look crazy in order to cover up his existence. He was now under close supervision of the Creature Wranglers) to coordination and supervision all interactions between Muggles and wizards to, of course, the overseeing of all the magical realms. Alice had really drawn the short straw on this assignment - no one wanted to visit Wonderland on purpose. It was bad enough that you might fall asleep and wake up in Wonderland in a dream, but venturing intentionally into a land in which a raving queen could cut off your head at any time seemed ill-advised. Perhaps things wouldn't be so dysfunctional in Wonderland once the Queen of Hearts had been stopped. At any rate, Alice thought, she wouldn't know anything standing on this side of the wall.

She expertly scaled the wall and peered over the top edge before pulling herself up onto the wall where she sat hidden by a tree. What she saw below inside the garden walls surprised her. A tall man with an enormous top hat sat across a from an oversized hare at one end of a very long table. It looked as though they were siting down to tea as there sat a tea kettle between the odd pair. There were also settings for tea about every two chairs all the way along the table. The man who Alice could only assume was the Mad Hatter took a sip of his tea.

 "Well, dear, are you going to join us or are you going to rudely creep about in the shadows? You're making us very nervous, you know."

Alice was so surprised at being addressed she nearly lost her balance and fell off the wall. She quickly composed herself.

"I apologize, sir! I'm here on assignment for work, but I'm afraid I didn't expect anyone to be having tea in the garden after midnight," she said, absently checking her watch (as many people are in the habit of doing when talking about the time even when well aware of what time it is) and the words that she had been about to speak died on her lips. She knew for a fact that she had arrived at the garden walls belonging to the Mad Hatter at five minutes to midnight, but now the face of her watch declared it to be six o'clock in the evening.

"Yes, yes, it is always tea time here," said the Mad Hatter tiredly but again without looking up from his tea, "now are you going to join us or not?"

Alice remembered the words of her assignment officer: Don't be surprised by anything that happens there. She shook her head once again at a futile attempt to clear it and jumped off the wall landing silently. Neither the Hatter or the Hare, who had yet to speak a word, seemed impressed. Alice quietly took a seat next to the silent Hare.

"Why doesn't he speak?" Alice asked

"He's a Hare," replied the Hatter in a tone Alice found rather condescending, especially considering the fact that she had apparently just entered into a time warp in which an oversized rabbit was sipping tea. She was about to say so but decided it better to just do her job so she could get out of there.

"So, why-?"

"Why does time stand still here?" the Hatter finished for Alice. He didn't seem mad, Alice noted, just extremely sad and distant, like he wasn't fully aware of his surrounding. "We were asked to do a recitation at one of the Queen's garden parties, but she quickly got angry and accused me of murdering Time, her consort, with my long-windedness. I assured her that my verse may be a bit long, but I was by no means a murderer. It was too late, however, because Time had already become angry, which of course is undesirable because everyone desires to have Time on his side, and he cast a spell on my pocket watch so that the time would never move past six o'clock in the evening."
The Hare sighed and nodded sadly.

"So it's always tea time," Alice said, slowly beginning to understand.

"Precisely."

"Why do they call you the Mad Hatter?" Alice asked somewhat cautiously. The Hatter didn't really seem to be one to follow normal social cues, but it was still a rather rude question to ask someone, "you don't seem mad to me."

"Isn't that what you'd say about a man who never leaves his garden and is always having tea?" replied the Hatter, not seeming the least bit offended. "Now, my dear, why are you here?"

"I've actually come for the watch," said Alice suddenly remembering the goal of her mission. "We believe it is the key to stopping the Queen of Hearts." Alice began to consider. "What will happen to you and the Hare if I take the watch?" she asked.

"I haven't the faintest idea," replied the Hatter, "We cannot leave our party and we do not get many visitors, let alone any who are interested in the watch."

"But what if you die?"

"It would be a change, my dear, and I would welcome any change at all," he said this with a sad distant smile. The Hare nodded in agreement. The Hatter took a very ordinary looking pocket watch out of his jacket pocket and handed it to Alice. "Good luck, my dear. Remember to keep your head about you should you encounter the Queen. People always seem to lose their heads around her."

"Well I'd say my head is on pretty straight," Alice replied somewhat haughtily starting to head for the garden gate.

"Yes, you do seem to have a good head on your shoulders," said the Hatter sipping his tea and with his eyes fixed upon nothing, "but all who meet the Queen seem to lose their heads."

Author's Note: This is a retelling of A Mad Tea Party which is a part of the Alice in Wonderland unit. I decided to use the same setting and characters from the original story but to change up the plot a little bit. I thought it would be interesting to give Alice a reason for visiting Wonderland and the Mad Hatter rather than have her just stumble upon them both. I changed a lot about the Mad Hatter's character. I didn't want him to be outlandish and eccentric but rather I wanted to paint a picture of a man who is slowly coming unhinged by his circumstances and whose lack of sanity is mostly speculation. I tried to convey the idea that his mind is intact, but he has a way of drifting in and out of reality which is why it is not strange to him that he is taking his tea with a giant Hare. The story about the Queen accusing the Hatter of murdering time is basically the same as the original except for the part about Time being the Queen's consort and Time actually casting a spell. In the original, Time simply refuses to move for the Hatter anymore but I thought it would add to the mystical element of the story if there was an actual spell involved. I also tried to use a bit of word play in the banter between Alice and the Hatter, just for fun!

Bibliography: Chapter VII: A Mad Tea-Party. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. Lewis Carroll. 1865.
Image Information: Alice in Wonderland (image source: Ben Curtis Jones Gallery )

Week 11: Reading Diary - Alice in Wonderland

Alice and Wonderland
This unit is a little unusual because it skips around the book quite a bit condensing some of the chapters and leaving some out. I've included some of my favorite stories!

Part A: Favorites
Down the Rabbit Hole
I have always loved Alice in Wonderland! As I read, I can't help but use my memories of the Disney movie to provide myself with visuals of the action (it is such a visual story!) In this first story, as it suggests, we see Alice go down her famous rabbit hole. I think it was very interesting how even in the story it says that she never gave any thought to how she was going to get out - that was something I always wondered at as a child. I love the little monologue she has with herself as she fall, quite calmly, down the deep dark well. I've always thought Alice a very strange character as she doesn't seem to wonder at what a typical person would wonder at, at least not to the same degree.


Down the Rabbit Hole (cont...)
I think that this chapter does a good job of capturing the very essence of childlike sensibility that characterizes Alice. When she finally lands at the bottom of the well, Alice finds herself in a room of many doors. She finds a key but the only door that the key will fit is no bigger than a rat hole. She despairs momentarily at not being able to fit through the door but is soon distracted when she finds a bottle that is labeled"drink me." However, Alice is very wise and realizes that she must first check to make sure that the bottle is not also marked poison as well. Of course the bottle could only contain poison if it is marked as such! I love this and the other statements she makes about the things that only wise little children remember from stories. It is comical but it is very true that children due seem to lack the most basic of common sense in many stories and fairytales which Alice has not failed to notice.


Down the Rabbit Hole (end)
After drinking from the mysterious bottle, Alice finds herself no more than 10 inches tall. To her delight, she is small enough to pass through the very small door, However, she soon realizes that she left the key on top of the table and is now to small to reach it! She begins to cry in despair but only for a bit before she sharply chastises herself for being so silly. Suddenly, she discovers under the table a box and inside the box she finds a very small cake on which is written "eat me" she does so thinking that this will cause her to grow taller. She does indeed begin to grow but much much bigger than she had anticipated - much too tall to fit through the small door. She begins to cry once more at her bad luck! The story skips a bit during which time I know from reading the book and seeing the movie that Alice is indeed able to shrink herself back down again and fit through the tiny door at last. When the story picks back up, she meets a large caterpillar smoking hookah on a mushroom.

Advice from a Caterpillar
Now commences Alice's famous conversation with the Caterpillar. He asks who she is and she replies that she isn't quite sure. This seems to annoy the Caterpillar, but if you think about it, this is a pretty existential answer, for how often are we unsure of who we are really, especially if you have spent the day growing and shrinking! The Caterpillar seems to talk in circles, which aggravates poor Alice. The Caterpillar in turn advises Alice to keep her temper.

Advice from a Caterpillar (cont...)
Alice begins to find the Caterpillar a rather contradictory sort. He asks her to recite the poem You are Old, Father William only to have him tell her that she has recited the entire thing incorrectly. She begins to lose her patience again. The Caterpillar does not seem to be able to help her. I think this is an interesting point - just because someone doesn't tell you exactly what you want to hear, it doesn't mean that they can't help you. In this case, the Caterpillar does eventually provide Alice with the information she seems to be seeking. He tells her that eating one side of the mushroom upon which he sits will make her larger and the other side will make her smaller. She chooses a side to eat and is rewarded by growing a very large chin.

Advice from a Caterpillar (end)
Eventually, her neck stretches up so tall that is rises above the trees and is mistaking for a serpent by a mother Pigeon and spends a great deal of time arguing with the bird about whether she is a girl or a serpent. After some time, Alice recalls that she is still holding the other side of the mushroom and can use it to shrink herself again. When she eats the mushroom, she finds herself only 9 inches high.

Pig and Pepper
The next three stories involve Alice's meeting with a very ill-tempered duchess who is preparing a very pepper-y soup for her young baby who is wailing horribly. It is here that Alice meets the Chesire cat for the first time with his all too pleasant grin.

Part B:
I've decided for Part B to combine the separate parts of each chapter into one set of notes for each chapter so as to help the continuity of the story for my notes.

A Mad Tea Party
 This is where we are first introduced to my favorite character in this story: the Mad Hatter. He is accompanied in this story by, of course, the March Hare and the Dormouse. We learn that they are in a constant state of tea time because the Hatter was once accused of murdering Time while he recited for the Queen of Hearts and now Time has refused to do anything for the poor Hatter. Thus, it is always 6:00pm - tea time. Alice joins this strange, eternal tea party and finds herself equal parts intrigued and frustrated by her strange new companions. They are constantly speaking in riddles with no answer (how IS a raven like a writing desk?) and using clever wordplay. That is probably my favorite thing about this story - the wordplay which makes all of the characters seem rather daft or mad, but in reality paints them to be more clever than is initially understood. (Also see A Mad Tea Party (cont...) and A Mad Tea Party (end) )

The Queen's Croquet Ground
We finally are introduced to the crazy Queen of Hearts. I love the way she is described in the story - almost like a petulant child, screaming "off with his head!" every few moments. She invites Alice to play in her game of croquet after Alice stands up to the mad queen on behalf of her royal gardeners who have been painting the white roses that were accidentally planted in the queen's garden red. The game of croquet is very strange - the balls are hedgehogs and the malts are flamingos. The more time Alice spends around the queen, the more sure she is that she will at some point lose her head and realizes that she needs to do her best to stay on the queen's good side. To Alice's great delight, her friend, the Cheshire Cat, makes an appearance (just his head). However, he manages to insult the king and when the king brings the problem to his wife, her very Procrustean solution is to cut off the Cat's head. This sparks a debate - how will they behead a head? (Also See The Queen's Croquet Ground (cont...) and The Queen's Croquet Ground (end) )

Who Stole the Tarts?
A trial commences to determine who has stolen the Queen's Tarts. This scene seems to take place a little helter-skelter - nothing really seems to make sense, which is part of the charm of this story. The judge is the King of Hearts who seems to latch onto the most inane of details presented by the witnesses, the jury is made up of a collection of beasts with slates. Their notes do not particularly seem to pertain to what is happening in the trial. The witnesses called includes the Mad Hatter, the Duchess' cook, and Alice herself! I wonder if the chaos that ensues in this so-called court is meant to be a satire about the proceedings of actual court and how they too can seem helter-skelter or nonsensical. (Also see Who Stole the Tarts (cont...) )

Alice's Evidence (cont...)
When it is her turn to give evidence (what evidence could she possibly have) Alice discovers that she has been growing and has almost reached her full size. This makes her very unafraid of the Queen and she begins to get a little mouthy calling them all nothing but a pack of cards.  When the cards begin to attack her, she wakes realizing that all she has experienced has been nothing but a dream! A wonderful dream! This explains her willingness throughout the story to accept all of the events that are transpiring around her.